TEENAGE RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS

                                        FAMILY ISSUES

                                  (for parents and teens) 

            In a family, parents are always the superior, and as a child in that family, you live your life by your parents instructions. 

           Many people think that families become less important to children as they move into the teenage years. But your child needs your family and the support it offers as much as she did when she was younger.

           It’s true that family relationships change during adolescence. When your child was young, your role was to nurture and guide him. Now you might be finding that your relationship with your child is becoming more equal.

         Most young people and their families have some ups and downs during these years, but things usually improve by late adolescence as children become more mature. 

          For teenagers, parents and families are a source of care and emotional support. Families give teenagers practical, financial and material help. And most teenagers still want to spend time with their families, sharing ideas and having fun.

          It’s normal for teenagers to be moody or seem uncommunicative, but they still need you. Your child still loves you and wants you to be involved in her life, even though at times her attitude, behaviour or body language might seem to say she doesn’t.  

STRUGGLES BETWEEN PARENTS AND TEENS 

              Struggles between Parents and Teens are Normal. 

              Parents of teenagers should realize these normal struggles with fads. Once they know that, they can relax more and worry less about how their children are turning out. Chances are they will be just fine, and the challenging teen will grow up to be a responsible adult.

              In the early years of children’s lives, parents are the most important figures in their world. Their approval, love and support are critical to children. Consequently, much of what children do and say is aimed at maintaining that love and approval. As children get older and have more contact with people other than their parents, their behaviors and attitudes will be influenced by other people. 

1) Failure to Live Up to Parental Expectations. 

            A common complaint from teens is that,  "parents want me to be the way they want me to be. " In other words, many parents want a certain career, appearance or college for their teen. These parents experience varying amounts of disappointment and sometimes anger because their children fail to live up to the parents’ expectations. 

2) Struggle for Control. 

           When children are young, many parents maintain control over most aspects of their child’s life. These parents choose their child’s clothes, friends, hobbies and so on. As children grow older, they realize they can never grow into adults without having control of their lives. Consequently, teens begin to fight for control.  

3)Establishing Independence

          Parents are still the most important influence in their children’s lives.

          Teens are trying to become adults. One of their greatest difficulties is becoming independent while maintaining a loving relationship with parents.

           The teen’s struggle for independence becomes a real problem only when it is viewed by the teen, or parents as a struggle for control.  

  MAINTAINING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS

                                    (wikihow.com) 

1)Act first.

           Don't wait for your parents to try to improve the relationship. If you want to improve your relationship with your parents, you should start right away and act first. 

2) Be appreciative.

             Consider all your parents have done for you; all the ways that they have helped you; all the ways they have influenced how you think. You may find yourself feeling grateful for your parents and more willing to improve the relationship or compromise, or be more forgiving when your parents annoy you.

3) Be respectful.

              Even if you do not agree with their parenting style, values or principles, be courteous to your parents; in doing so you will be less likely to put them into a defensive parenting mode. 

            There are a number of ways in which you can be respectful. Try using polite language (such as "sorry" or "would you mind if"), speaking modestly ("it may be" instead of "it definitely is"), and letting them finish speaking before you take your turn. 

4) Keep calm.

              

            Don’t overreact when talking to your parents, you may end up saying things you regret, which will only damage your relationship further and make you seem immature.

5) Be open and honest.

                One way to improve your relationship dynamics is to be more willing to talk to your parents about things you feel uncomfortable with.  This will help to build trust in your relationship with your parents, which will improve your relationship with them.  

Your family is your pride, make it a happy place.