TEENAGE RELATIONSHIP WITH PEERS

                                     Who is a peer? 

          Somebody who is, or something that is, at a level equal to that of something else. 

          This part of relationship among teens tends to be the strongest form of relationship, because it plays a greater role in influencing the teenager. 

           A teen's peer can be part of the most important social relationships in a his life, often contributing more to his/her development than families do. Strong peer relationships help teens achieve two of their most critical tasks: finding independence from their parents and developing their own personal identities.

            However, adolescence is a time when teens begin to select their own friends, spend considerably more time with them, and they often do so without parental supervision. They begin to share more intimate bonds with their friends, such as sharing of personal secrets and feelings. In fact, teens will often connect with other teens who have similar problems or situations as they look for social acceptance from other sources than their parents. 

          For example, a teen may start to dress differently, listen to new types of music, and use new slang language as a direct result of his new peers. As teens experiment with new identities, they often believe and feel that their peers will be more approving and supportive of their new choices. 

          Knowing that peers can have a negative and positive influence in your life as a teenager, it is advisable to mingle with those of same mindset. 

HOW TO DEVELOP EFFECTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR  PEERS 

1)Search for common goals. 

                  Have a personal goal, walk with those with similar goals. In that way,  success can be achieved in your life. 

Think of how you can add value. Extend a hand to support your peers in areas that you can influence. 

2)Establish trust and respect. 

               Create an environment of trust and respect with your peers. The effective way to establish that is to consistently demonstrate these behaviours: 

*Be a true professional: Avoid talking about your peers behind their backs or being involved in office gossips.

*Keep your commitments: If you say you want to do something within a certain time, do it and deliver on time.

*Resolve conflicts with urgency: Work on addressing conflicts with your peers at the earliest possible time. Unresolved conflicts will hamper progress in relationship building, team building as well as ongoing projects.

*Make yourself available: Adopt an open door policy. Be available to listen, discuss, debate and strategize together with your peers. Occasionally, make time to have lunch together.  

3) Pursue collaboration. 

               Always ask yourself, “How best can I work jointly together with my peers for the benefit of my organization?”

You can consider the following approaches to collaborate with your peers:

*Seek clarity on shared goals, roles and responsibilities: You must start on the right path. Engage with your peers and discuss about projects that you mutually work together. Be clear about the project goals. Talk through details on who is supposed to do what and when.

*Celebrate success: Recognize success as it comes, no matter how small. Make it a habit to celebrate every milestone achieved. Such celebration and recognition sustain your momentum and motivation to go on further. In fact, take the opportunity, in a staff meeting for example, to recognize your peers and highlight their significant contributions. 

4) No blame game. 

            “When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself .”- Louis Nizer.

Quit blaming others. If something goes horribly wrong, be it in projects or relationship with your peers, take a step back and review the situations  

5)Make time to bond with each other. 

               This is so obvious that many tend to take it for granted.

It pays to get to know your peers well. Take a genuine interest in their lives. Spend time with them in a relaxed setting outside of the office such as going to lunch/dinner, playing golf, doing common hobbies etc.

It helps to build rapport which will go a long way towards establishing a situation of mutual respect and consideration among each other.  

Walk with those of same mindset. 

"Friends stay together as long as the think together."